


The Night We Met

by quentin_speaks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt, M/M, loss and mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 05:22:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quentin_speaks/pseuds/quentin_speaks
Summary: Virgil has just lost his husband, Patton, and is grieving his loss. He spends time reflecting on their past, remembering how they met, and trying to allow himself to heal.





	The Night We Met

**Author's Note:**

> The title is based off of the song “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron. I spent several hours yesterday night writing this, and am very sorry for the emotional subject matter. My original intent was not to write something quite so sad, but sometimes the story shifts and goes where it wants to go. Please feel free to ask questions if you’d like, and let me know how you feel about this!

Virgil had never liked funerals, he couldn’t imagine anyone who did, but today’s was by far the worst he’d ever been to. He was distraught, and even though he was thankful for Logan and Roman trying to help, he just needed to be alone. Nothing could make him magically feel better. 

He dropped his keys onto the table and walked into the kitchen, placing the lentil stew that Roman had given him in the fridge, among the fruit trays and casseroles. Virgil wondered how he would ever find a way to eat everything by himself. He’d probably end up wasting half of it, he thought.

Virgil didn’t know where to sit, where to go. Every room reminded him of Patton. He wanted desperately to go somewhere **––** anywhere **––** else, but he didn’t really know if he had the energy. Besides, where would he go? There wasn’t a single place he’d been to that Patton had never been with him at. 

He paced the length of the kitchen repeatedly, trying to find the will to breathe. It had only been seven days, and yet it had felt like a lifetime, and Virgil had cried himself out. He wanted to cry more, desperately wanted to let himself sob into the couch, but he no longer had any tears left, no matter how hard he tried. He paced, face red and blotchy, scarcely breathing, his knees clutched to his chest. He hadn’t even taken off his suit yet, and a part of his mind told him that he should, but his body felt no inclination to move. 

Virgil inhaled sharply, shakily, and exhaled slowly, trying to calm his nerves, but he knew it was useless. How was he supposed to calm down? How was he supposed to feel anything around the aching hole in his heart? Nothing would be able to repair him now, he thought. Patton was gone. The light of his life was gone, and he was never going to come back. 

He found himself wandering aimlessly throughout the house before finally settling on taking a shower. He tossed his suit haphazardly to the floor **––** he could pick it up later. The only thing that mattered right then was that he felt the sting of the hot water against his skin, felt the steam rise up to greet him. Nothing could heal his broken heart, but maybe the scalding water would allow him to feel something else for the first time in days.

The water pounded against his skin, and Virgil let out a sob, tears finally breaking through once more. He felt a strange sense of relief wash over him; at least the tears were back, at least he could cry again for the first time in days. He’d cried more in the past week than he’d ever had in his life before. 

 

When Virgil finally emerged he’d had no idea how long he’d been in the shower. It could have been minutes, hours, or days. The water had long gone cold, and his tears had once again dried. He stood in front of his closet, their closet, and his eyes skimmed through all of their clothes, before he finally settled on the Christmas jumper that Patton had given him years prior. His heart ached. Christmas was only a few weeks away. He hadn’t thought about it even once since getting the news. 

Virgil had to leave, he decided. He needed to be somewhere else, somewhere that wasn’t home. He finished getting dressed and threw on the first shoes he could find, and quickly headed out the door. 

It was dark out, and very cold, but Virgil didn’t mind. The cold was familiar, primal, and it numbed him. He walked down their street, finding himself out of the neighbourhood, and continued walking, not paying much attention as to where he was going. The destination didn’t matter, he just needed to be somewhere that didn’t hurt. 

He couldn’t help but think about the night that he and Patton had met. 

 

It was mid-May and Virgil had been sitting in the back corner of Remy’s bar, waiting somewhat impatiently for a blind date who was  _ severely _ late.  _ Who agrees to meet someone at 6 and just leaves them waiting? It’s almost 7 and I haven’t gotten so much as a text,  _ he thought.  _ If he’s not here in the next twenty minutes I’m leaving. _

When the waitress came back he ordered a gin and tonic, and sank into the booth. It wasn’t the first time that Virgil had been stood up, but he was really becoming quite bitter about it. He wouldn’t mind if the guy had been a little late, but a text or something would have been nice. And this wasn’t exactly “a little late” anymore. 

Virgil thanked the waitress as she dropped off his drink, and let his mind wander to his phone. It was 7:05 and he decided to give up hope. It didn’t really matter, anyway. He’d have to let Roman know later that he was done trying the whole “blind date” thing. It was too much stress, and it wasn’t good for his anxiety.

He sat sipping his drink, watching the news on the bar’s television. There was a story about robbery at a Toys R Us, and Virgil couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with people. At least rob a bank or something, not a kids toy store. 

His eyes wandered back to the door, much to his chagrin. He didn’t  _ want _ to keep staring at the door, hoping that the man he was supposed to meet would walk through, but despite his best efforts he still had the tiniest gleam of hope. Maybe he was late because he’d gotten caught up saving a kitten from a tree or something, not just because he decided that Virgil wasn’t worth his time.

“Did you get stood up, too?” Came a voice from Virgil’s right. He startled slightly, and looked over at the man next to him. 

“What do you mean?” Virgil said. The man next to him had a soft smile on his face, his brown eyes slightly magnified behind his glasses. 

“I’ve been sitting here for the last hour waiting for my date to walk in the door, and he never came. You’re the only other person in here who’s been watching the door, too.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, articulate as always. He cursed himself. Why couldn’t he just answer something like a normal person? “Yeah, my guy never showed, either.”

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” The man asked.

Virgil shrugged. It wasn’t like it mattered, and the company might have been nice.

“I’m Patton,” the man said, taking a seat across from him. “Do you come here often, um…?”

“Virgil,” he said. “And not very often, but occasionally. Remy and I went to school together, so sometimes I stop by to say hello.”

“That’s cool!” Patton said, more enthusiastic than Virgil had expected. “My brother used to be a bartender here a few years ago. It’s the only bar I’ve ever really been to. The staff are friendly, so I just never saw much reason to go elsewhere.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“So I take it you’re from around here?”

Virgil talked to Patton for a while, and before he knew it, they were both ordering their second round of drinks. Second turned into third, and third somehow into fifth, and by that point they were both beyond tipsy.

“So you’re telling me,” Virgil said, his voice coming out slightly louder than he intended, “That you’ve never seen Dexter? How is that even  _ possible? _ ”

Patton laughed, the corners of his mouth turning up in a grin, “You’re one to talk Mr. “I’ve Never Watched The Office”!”

“It’s on my list!”

“You should move it up, it’s worth it.”

Virgil made a mental note to start watching The Office sooner, but he had a feeling he’d forget. He decided to pull out his phone to make a proper note of it.

“You should let me give you my number,” Patton said. “I mean, if you want it that is.”

“Yeah, of course I do.”

They exchanged numbers, and spent the next few hours talking before finally each calling for a cab. When Virgil got home, he climbed up the stairs to his apartment, throwing his keys on the table and kicking his shoes off by the door. He hadn’t thought about the person who had stood him up since the moment Patton had sat across from him, and it didn’t matter much to him now. He’d had a good night, the best he’d had in a very long time, and he was happier with the outcome than he imagined he would have been if the other guy had bothered to show up.

In the morning Virgil woke to a text from Patton

“It was great getting to know you last night, I had a ton of fun! We should do that again sometime!”

Virgil felt a small grin break out over his face.

“That’d be great. Maybe next Friday, if you’re not too busy?”

He sat waiting, heart racing, hoping for a response. Finally, it came.

“It’s a date.”

 

Virgil’s heart ached as he remembered Patton’s cheesy grin that first night. It had been ten years since then, and they’d grown so much closer than Virgil ever could have imagined back then. He wished that he could go back, that he could relive that night, relive it all. He’d have told Patton to stay home the morning of his death. He’d have pulled him back into bed and held him close, and never let him go. 

The wind bit into Virgil, but he ignored it’s embrace. It might’ve been December, but the weather had been relatively mild so far that season. He wondered how he would survive through Christmas that year, without Patton. They hadn’t spend at Christmas apart in the ten years since they’d met. He knew that the decorations wouldn’t be put up that year, that had always been Patton’s favourite thing. He’d miss the Halloween decorations on the tree, and part of him knew that he’d never be able to look at the holiday the same way again. 

He was still walking, he wasn’t quite sure where he was, but he could hear the ocean in the distance. Maybe he would feel better if he sat at the beach, he thought. He and Patton had always loved the beach. They had considered getting married on the shore, but Virgil worried that it would be too sandy, and their guests would be uncomfortable with sand in their shoes. Instead, they’d settled on nearby national park. 

Virgil remembered their wedding fondly. It had been the happiest day of his life, and he’d never felt more sure of anything he’d ever done. Nothing could have made him change his mind, and he was so happy that Patton hadn’t changed his, either. He’d been so afraid of that before the ceremony. He thought back to the moments before walking down the aisle.

 

Virgil’s nerves were through the roof, and Roman’s tittering was  _ not _ helping. He knew that Roman just wanted to help, but he was just making Virgil more anxious. There were a lot of people outside, and Virgil could hear their voices muffled through the windows. 

He was stressed, sitting in front of the mirror, trying desperately to comb his hair down into something presentable.  _ At this rate _ , he thought,  _ I’m going to be going out there looking like I just rolled out of bed. _

“Just let me do it,” Roman said for the eighteenth time. “It’ll be easier that way.”

“I can do it myself,” Virgil replied. He didn’t mean to sound quite so harsh, and he immediately cursed himself. Roman would understand, though. “Why did I even agree to let you back here?”

Roman laughed, “Because I’m your best friend, I’m awesome, and you love me, that’s why. Now stop messing with it and get over here.”

Virgil sighed but finally conceded. “Ro, what if he changes his mind?”

“Patton? Are you kidding me? He’s not going to change his mind, he loves you.”

“I know, but what if we get out there and he just… What if he decides that he could do better than me? What then?”

Roman thought for a second before speaking. “Virgil,” he said, and Virgil looked at him. Roman never called him by his name. “Can you do better than him?”

“What? No, of course not.”

“Don’t you think he feels the same way about you?”

Virgil felt a slight relief at that. Patton loved him, he knew that, he was just scared. No one could blame him, though. Growing up Virgil had always felt like the “replaceable” friend, and it had shown. The fear of being forgotten never quite left his mind. Patton had always been the only one who could truly calm that, but with prospect of marriage, Virgil still wondered. 

Roman finished fixing Virgil’s hair, and when Virgil looked in the mirror he was glad that he’d finally let Roman handle it.

“It’s time, let’s get out there.”

They headed out, and Virgil found his way to the altar, waiting for Patton to make his way to him. His stomach was in knots, and he wondered if any of the guests could tell he was about ready to pass out. 

Patton stood at the end of the aisle, a blue flower crown resting on the top of his head, matching the light blue tie that he was wearing with his suit. Virgil felt his breathing hitch. Patton was absolutely stunning, and he walked with a bounce to his step that Virgil had always been jealous of. 

It felt like hours before Patton was finally standing in front of him, his hand reaching out to grasp his. Time stopped, the guests seemed to fade away, and nothing mattered but the playful glint in Patton’s eyes, the gentle curve of his lips into a smile, the freckles dusting across his cheeks and nose, like stars in a galaxy. 

When it finally came time to read their vows, Virgil found himself not even having to look down at his notes. He knew exactly what he needed to say.

“Patton, I have loved you since the night we met. It didn’t take me more than a few seconds to understand that meeting you would change my life forever, in ways that I never could have expected. You made me want to become a better person, and you have supported me through every second of it. When that great being in the sky created you, she added enough caring and childishness to heal a nation, and I am so thankful that you’ve chosen to be with me. I love you, Patton, with my whole heart and soul, and I promise that I will be here for you in every step of your life, good or bad, until death do us part.”

Virgil could see tears beginning to collect at the corners of Patton’s eyes, and he could feel them starting to collect on his own as well. The Justice of the Peace was saying something, but Virgil could barely hear him over his own thoughts. It took everything he had in him not to kiss Patton right then and there.

Finally, it was Patton’s turn.

“Virgil, you are the love of my life. Loving you is the easiest thing that I have ever done, and the most rewarding. You are my best friend and my closest ally, the one person I know that I can trust no matter what. You make me see a different side to life that I had never known before you, and I will forever be grateful to you for that.  All I want is to wake and and see your smile every day, for the rest of our lives. I promise that when things are tough, I will always be willing to slow down and spend time with you. I promise that even when I’m angry I will still tell you that I love you. I promise that no matter what comes our way, I will be there with you every single second, and we will fight through it together. Virgil, I love you with everything that I am, and I will be here for you until death do us part.”

Virgil was struggling to keep tears from spilling from his eyes when the Justice of the Peace finally said, “I now pronounce you husbands.” 

Patton practically lept into Virgil’s arms, and he kissed him like they had never kissed each other before. Nothing mattered more in that moment than the gentle caress of Patton’s lips against Virgil’s, and the smell of the forget-me-nots in Patton’s hair. 

 

Virgil felt tears escaping his eyes once again as he finally reached the shoreline. The dark sky made the normally crystalline blue water appear as if it was an inky black abyss. Somewhere Virgil felt himself laugh. “It’s like my soul,” he had said to Patton once, which had caused him to owe a full dollar to the “Self-deprecation” jar. 

Virgil could finally recognize where he was. The pier stuck out far over the water, and Virgil smiled slightly at a memory of him and Patton have sat there on the first night after having moved into their new house. They had sat and watched the sunset, legs dangling over the edge of the pier, peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches in hand. 

The wind blew sharply and Virgil felt himself shiver. The longer he spent outdoors the colder it seemed to feel. He was regretting not having worn a coat over his jumper. He would most likely be sick later that week, but he felt that that didn’t really matter. At least he wasn’t trapped inside their house, at least he was moving around. 

Virgil headed towards the pier, feet digging deeply into the loose sand. Most nights he would have enjoyed the feeling of the sand beneath his feet, cool and damp, but under the circumstances he barely noticed that it was there. 

The full moon cast a soft glow across the ocean, the water glittering and glinting in the dim moonlight. It almost appeared to be dancing across the waves.

He sat on the edge of the pier, legs dangling above the water. His hands were freezing as he pulled out his phone. It was 2:15 A.M., he’d had several missed calls and texts from Roman and Logan both, and he felt guilty for having left them in the dark. He’d call them back in a few minutes, he just needed a little more time to himself, just needed to soak in the gentle beauty of the ocean. 

Virgil took a photo of the moonlight across the water,  _ Patton would have loved this _ , he thought. He sat his phone on the dock next to him, then watched the light for a little while longer. He noticed a white mist forming over the ocean, too far out to really see. It seemed to dance across the waves, back and forth, almost as if it was dancing to a specific beat. 

Somewhere deep inside Virgil could feel something stir within him, and he felt the ocean call to him. He continued to watch the mist dance across the waves, slowly becoming closer and closer. He resisted the ocean’s call, sitting tightly in place, just following the mist as it danced nearer and nearer.

When the mist was finally close enough he could see that it was a person. The call of the ocean fully enveloped him, he could feel it’s cool embrace wrapping him, though he was still seated on the pier. Virgil looked intensely at the mist and felt a smile creep upon his face. 

Slowly he stood, legs still over the edge of the pier, but he did not fall. When he looked down, white puffs of mist lay beneath his feet, and he was floating gently above the water. Finally the misty figure was upon him, and he could see Patton’s face once again.

“I’ve missed you,” Patton said, his voice soft and slightly raspy. 

“I’ve missed you, too,” Virgil replied.

Virgil took Patton’s hand in his own, and suddenly Virgil could hear the music. A soft, sweet melody, like something he had known once in a dream. 

He found himself dancing with Patton, laughter spilling from his chest. They danced over the waves, further and further, until the pier was far beyond the horizon. 


End file.
